The Joy of Fatherhood
by ContraBardus
Summary: Not a 'Ranma has a kid fic' Read and find out for yourself.
1. Default Chapter

Ranma 1/2  
  
The Joy of Fatherhood.  
  
Not, a Ranma gets a kid fic.   
  
++++++++++++++  
  
She had made it, at last. The Goddess Klulis had finally managed to get her own world. After millennia of work under other gods for the coveted position, she had finally gotten her very own reality.   
  
Sure, she could complain. It was one of those ready made universes after all, but at least it was something.   
  
She paused and looked down at the progress of her little world. "Seems to be all right for now." She smiled and turned towards the great celestial television that was floating off to the side set and smiled in satisfaction.  
  
++++++++++  
  
"What? Dead?" snapped the Goddess as she looked at the towering form before her. Not that it was very intimidating; she was pretty tall herself.  
  
"Yes, you left him alone for five minutes," commented the god who stood before her.  
  
"You guys always leave them be!" snapped the Goddess angrily.  
  
"We had minor gods working under us too keep an eye on things," replied the god lazily. "Really dear, you aren't quite up to that level yet."  
  
"Dang! I really wanted to have him in there too!" she muttered as she glanced down at her world for a moment. "How? How did it happen? I never noticed."  
  
"Well, the doctor slapped him after he was born. He got angry, and decided to hold his breath and take it like a man, instead of crying."  
  
"What? You mean the stupidity is that ingrained?" said the Goddess in shock.  
  
"It's what makes him special," replied the elder god with a shrug.  
  
"I could perform a miracle, but I'd have to go through heaven and find his stupid soul first," muttered the goddess angrily as she looked at said reality from over her shoulder.  
  
"It would be too late by then," replied the god with a smirk on his face. "I had one of these universes once. It never goes well without him, however indirectly he influences things."  
  
"Yeah, he's probably the first one like him too ever make it to heaven too," snorted the woman angrily.  
  
"Hmm, now what?" muttered the goddess as she glanced around. "Say..." she turned towards the elder god and smiled sweetly at him.  
  
"No, Klulis," he said with a sigh.  
  
"Why not? I'll just borrow one little soul!" she said with her eyes suddenly growing to huge proportions, they also started to shine.  
  
"No!" replied the elder god as he turned his back on her.  
  
"Come on! What about that stupid looking one! The one with his face in the computer screen!" said the woman as she fell on her knees and grabbed his robe.  
  
"Who? Him?" said the god with a snort. "That guy might actually like it. He's scheduled to die soon anyway..." muttered the god as he attempted to convince himself. "All right, but just this once! I don't want this getting around."  
  
"Yay!" cried the Goddess cutely as she threw her hands in the air.  
  
++++++++++  
  
Carrot sat at his computer, writing the next few chapters of his latest fanfic. [The Shameless Plug!]  
  
All he did was yawn; he stretched out his arms and opened his eyes again. Only to find himself looking at several giant doctors, all of who were staring back at him in equal shock.  
  
"He's alive! We did it!" cried one of the giant men in Japanese.  
  
"A miracle!" exclaimed one of the Nurses.  
  
Carrot started screaming, he couldn't control his body and his limbs flailed about wildly.  
  
"My god! I've been abducted by Japanese Space Aliens!" screamed his mind. "They're going to probe my anus!"  
  
One of the giant space aliens picked him up and carried him over to a gigantic woman. He was gently placed in her arms.  
  
"Mrs. Takama, you have a very healthy young boy!" said one of the aliens in Japanese.  
  
"Huh?" thought Carrot as he looked up at her. She wasn't exactly a paragon of beauty, but hardly repulsive.  
  
A large Japanese man with glasses, dressed in a business suit with hospital scrubs over it, grinned proudly. "A boy! I have a son!"  
  
"Huh? Whazis?" thought Carrot as he tried desperately to think of how he had gotten himself into this.  
  
His eyes focused on a blurry image over him, a huge mirror on the ceiling. He found himself looking at a newborn baby in the woman's arms. "Th...that's me? But, I'm not a Buddhist! I don't believe in reincarnation!" He paused and thought about it for a moment. "Or is that Hindu? I always get those two screwed up. Hmm..."  
  
+++++++++++++  
  
Up in the heavens, two great beings smiled down on the world.  
  
"He seems to be taking this rather well," commented Klulis.  
  
"Hmm? Oh, he's not entirely stable," replied the god with a small shrug.  
  
"Man, he was a better choice than I had thought," commented the goddess offhandedly.   
  
"I guess so. What the heck were you doing when this happened anyway?" said the god as he noticed the television. He leaned in and peered at the screen for a moment. "Phantasy Star Online?"  
  
"Um, yeah. I'm using a FOneware, got her all the way to level 52, in less than a week!" said the goddess proudly.  
  
The god merely sighed and shook his head.   
  
+++++++++++  
  
Sixteen years later...  
  
"What the hell did I do to deserve this reincarnation?" muttered Carrot. "My dad is a salary man, my mom is an overweight housewife, and I'm... I'm what? Going down the same road as my old man, that's what!" He kicked a rock angrily and clenched his fists. He'd managed to talk his parents into getting him martial arts lessons, but unfortunately, the Taikwondo Plus franchise down the street had been running a sale that week. "Man, this life sucks more than my old one did." He had often wondered why he could still remember that, and was beginning to doubt its validity. "Maybe I am crazy."  
  
That couldn't be right though. His old martial arts training from before was still good. The things he'd learned in his past life still held true. He'd never even cracked a schoolbook open, and slept through most of his classes up until high school. He could guess that he was at least a second dan in Kenpo, and a rather poor red belt in Taikwondo. He could do better easily, but he just wasn't motivated.  
  
It didn't help that his family genetics seemed to ensure that he was a little overweight.   
  
"Hey, Takama. How's it goin?" sneered one of the boys from his class.   
  
"Huh? What do you want?" snapped Carrot bitterly. The boy was a bully, and had a thing against everyone, including him.  
  
"Nothin, just your lunch money. Cough it up fat boy," snapped the boy as he put his hand out and grabbed Carrot's collar.  
  
"But...it's Sunday."  
  
"I know that!" snapped the angry boy.   
  
Carrot frowned, the kid was dressed in his school uniform. He had come here today, because he didn't think the boy would be around.  
  
"I don't have any lunch money. There's no school," repeated Carrot lazily.  
  
"Well heck. I just wanted to fight you again anyway," said the boy sheepishly.  
  
"Huh?" muttered Carrot. "What the hell are you talking about Kodama?"  
  
"I've never had a fight that good before. Yesterday, when I tried to take your money, I thought you'd be a pushover. No one has ever stood up to me before."  
  
Carrot's jaw dropped. "Huh?"  
  
"I want to be a martial artist some day! A man like no other!" said the boy with tears forming in his eyes. "When you and I fought... it was like... the greatest feeling I ever got!" Kodama started crying right there in the middle of the street.  
  
"Uh, sure. I guess we could do it again," muttered Carrot in disbelief.  
  
"R...really?" said the boy as he grabbed his shoulders.  
  
"I guess," grumbled Carrot as he looked away from the pathetic display.  
  
"That's great! You're a martial artist too right?" exclaimed the excited boy.  
  
"Yeah, sort of. It's not a family thing, if that's what you mean. My dad's a salary man."  
  
"Mine too," agreed the other boy with a serious nod. "It ends with me though! I'm going to become a real man! My fiancee and I will have our own dojo one day!"  
  
"You're engaged?" said Carrot in shock.  
  
Kodama blushed and looked towards the ground. "Yeah, one of those arranged things."  
  
"I didn't think anyone did that anymore," commented Carrot lazily.  
  
"Huh? I'm happy with it," replied the other boy with a shrug.  
  
"Well, should we... you know..." said Carrot tentatively.   
  
"Oh! Right! The fight... I guess we could do it later. I'm in no real hurry, not since I know you'll do it without me acting like a jerk."  
  
"Sure thing... I guess," muttered Carrot as he looked away. His gaze locked immediately after that. The most beautiful girl he had ever seen was walking towards them, with a huge smile on her face. He simply let his jaw drop as all previous brain function and motor skills failed instantly.  
  
"Excuse me, could you direct me to the Takama residence?"  
  
"Duuuhhh," said Carrot.  
  
"Hey, isn't that your last name?" said Kodama.  
  
"Huh, a-yup," gibbered the love struck boy as he stared at her.  
  
The girl blushed demurely. She was dressed in a formal Kimono and had black hair, with a slight red tint to it. "Oh my."  
  
"Look, I'll just come back later," muttered Kodama nervously as he turned almost militarily and stiffly moved away from the scene.  
  
Carrot shook his head and tried desperately to regain control of his functions again. "Man! That's never happened to me before! Who?"  
  
"Is your name Takama?"  
  
"Yeah, who?"  
  
"My name is Nodoka," she said with a small bow.  
  
"Oh, you need to find my house?"  
  
"Yes, I'm supposed to meet my parents there today. I wasn't ready, and they kind of left without me," said the girl with a small giggle as she brushed her hair out of her face.  
  
"Nodoka? Weird," thought Carrot for a moment. "Come on. I'll show you the way."  
  
"Thank you," said Nodoka quietly.  
  
"With my luck, she's probably my cousin or something," he grumbled under his breath.   
  
+++++++++  
  
"Married?" said Carrot in shock.  
  
The two sets of parents sat across from him and Nodoka.  
  
"That's right son, you and Nodoka are to be married. Thus uniting the Takama and Saotome lines," said his father firmly.  
  
"Saotome?" said Carrot in shock as he looked at Nodoka.  
  
"You have a problem with my family?" said the girl's mother with an arched eyebrow.  
  
"N-no! I'm just surprised! She's beautiful! I'll do it!" Apparently, he had still not completely wrested control of his brain from his...ahem...never mind.  
  
"We decided it was best not to put the pressures of the engagement on him until today," said his mother quietly.  
  
"He is not...soiled is he?" said the woman as she shot a glance back at him.  
  
Carrot finally noticed the long bundle that rested across the woman's shoulder.  
  
"Gack! Of course!" he replied instantly. He probably would have said that even if it wasn't true.  
  
"I see, very well then. We shall hold the wedding this afternoon," said the woman as she stood up. Carrot noticed that her husband hadn't spoken a single word throughout the entire meeting.  
  
Without thinking, he turned towards Nodoka. "Has your mom ever been to China? A place called Joketzuko?"  
  
"No. Why?" said the girl sweetly. She didn't seem the slightest bit upset about any of this.  
  
"No reason," muttered Carrot dejectedly. He was trapped and he knew it, that woman wouldn't hesitate to cut him in half if he tried to escape.  
  
"Oh..." she looked like she was about to say something, but quieted down.  
  
"What is it?" said the boy as he noticed this.  
  
"Oh! He's so manly! Such a healthy interest in my chest when we first met! And now he seems to be in tune with my feelings! It was meant to be!" thought the girl to herself as she smiled at him. "You never did tell me your whole name."  
  
"Huh? Oh, Genma Takama," replied the boy nervously. He wasn't really paying much attention, merely trying to figure out a way out of this mess. The Saotome woman didn't have to unwrap that sword for him to know how sharp it was. The cowering excuse for a husband beside her was enough to convince him.  
  
"Genma-samma," said Nodoka with a blush on her face.  
  
"Huh? Oh, just call me Carrot, everyone does," replied the boy out of habit.   
  
"Karot? Why?" she said in confusion.  
  
He smiled back at her. "It might be a way out! If she thinks I'm like that..." he thought to himself with a small smirk. "Have you ever seen an anime called Sorcerer Hunters?"  
  
++++++++++++  
  
"Oh, I understand now," said Nodoka with a smile on her face as she turned away from the screen about an hour later.  
  
"Why does she look happy?" thought Carrot with a frown. He had done his best to grope her throughout the show, giving the impression that he was a complete pervert. He'd even gone so far as to spread out the few Urotsukidogi manga that he had, out on the floor openly.  
  
"You're like this man," she said sweetly.  
  
"Yeah. I really like him," he said in confusion.  
  
"You must... really like redheads. I'm so pleased!" exclaimed the girl.  
  
Carrot almost fell on his face. Only two hours until zero hour, and he'd failed miserably.  
  
"Such a healthy young boy!" she thought to herself as she looked down at the pornographic manga that was strewn about the room.  
  
"I give up," said Carrot as he walked out of his room and left her there.  
  
"Oh my," muttered Nodoka as she followed him. She turned and noticed the few trophies and pictures from the dojo he'd been attending. None of them were higher than third place, but still, it seemed he had quite an interest in martial arts. "I wonder... perhaps..." she left the rest unsaid as she walked out of the room.  
  
+++++++++  
  
Carrot frowned as he put down the phone book. "Hi, is your son there?"  
  
A few moments later, a familiar voice answered on the other end. "Hello?"  
  
"I got a question for you Kodama. What's your fiancee's last name?"  
  
"Tendo. Why?" said the boy obliviously.  
  
"I thought I might know her, never mind," said Carrot with a sigh. "It figures," his mind lamented. "I got somethin to tell ya. I can't make it to the lot tomorrow. We're gonna have to reschedule our fight so it's on Tuesday."  
  
"What?" said the other boy in disappointment. "Why?"  
  
"Turns out my parents arranged a marriage for me too. I just found out, and I'm getting married this afternoon," said Carrot as he glanced over his shoulder nervously.  
  
"Oh, congratulations! Wait, is it... you know... her?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Hey, great luck."  
  
"Yeah, right," deadpanned Carrot irritably.  
  
"Pardon?" said Kodama in confusion.  
  
"It's nothing. I just wanted to let you know."   
  
"Yeah, thanks. I appreciate it," replied the other boy in confusion.  
  
++++++++++++  
  
Genma Saotome stood on the porch to his home the next morning. A deep frown crossed his face as he thought about his situation. "Now what?"  
  
The night before had been quite interesting. Apparently, Nodoka had taken his perceived perversion to heart. He really should have known better. He hung his head and sighed.  
  
"I guess, I'm a martial artist from now on."  
  
Unbeknownst to him, Nodoka was standing nearby, just out of sight. She would stand by her husband's decision, and she knew just the man to call. After all, the two of them were so much alike.   
  
+++++++++++  
  
THE END?  
  
Continuation, depends on feedback!  
  
Let me know when you figured it out!  



	2. The Joy of Fatherhood 2

The Joy of Fatherhood  
  
Part 2  
  
Wedded Bliss.  
  
+++++++++++  
  
Carrot blinked as he stepped out of the hotel room he and his new  
wife had gotten for the weekend. It was in a fairly nice hot springs  
just outside of Tokyo. Things had been going reasonably well, and on  
Tuesday, he'd be back in school again.  
  
Nodoka was somewhat traditional in many ways, in others, he wasn't  
exactly certain if she was even human. The woman had somehow gotten it  
into her head that he was some sort of insatiable pervert. "At least  
she's not into that bondage stuff. I don't know how much more I can  
take though."  
  
"Carrot?" said a familiar voice.  
  
He looked up and simply stared at the man in front of him. "Soun?"  
  
"What are you doing here?" they said in unison, much to the  
amusement of the young girl standing next to Soun.  
  
"Honeymoon. You?" replied Carrot lazily.  
  
"The same actually," muttered Soun as he coughed into his hand  
nervously.  
  
"Really? You told me you were engaged, but..." said Carrot in  
genuine surprise.  
  
"Well, yes. This is my wife, Kimiko Tendo," said Soun as he  
presented his wife to Carrot.  
  
"Oh, is this a friend of yours?" said the woman with a small  
oblivious looking smile.  
  
"Uh, yes ma'am," replied Carrot as Soun floundered for the answer  
for a moment.  
  
"Yes, quite so. My name is Tendo now, by the way."  
  
"Oh? You too huh? My new name is Saotome."  
  
"Well, perhaps we should get together later, for dinner or  
something?" said Soun cheerfully.  
  
"Yes, I'd like that," said Carrot calmly as Soun ushered his wife  
away. He raised his eyebrow slightly as he saw her profile from the  
side. The girl was slightly pregnant, and was holding her hand  
tentatively against the small of her back already. "Hmmm, that must be  
Kasumi."  
  
"Genma, darling!" said a familiar voice. Carrot turned to see  
Nodoka skipping up to him cheerfully. She was still wet from the  
springs, and dressed in a yukata.  
  
"Hello, dear," said the boy with a weak smile.  
  
"I was looking for you," she said as she walked up beside him and  
took his arm.  
  
"Actually, I was looking for you too," he said as he managed to  
straighten up a bit.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes, I'm getting hungry, so I thought we might eat together," he  
said cheerfully.  
  
"That would be nice, I was just starting to think about lunch  
myself. Wow, we must be more alike than I thought!"  
  
Carrot winced slightly at this. "Er, honey? I'm always hungry,  
see?" He pat his belly for emphasis and smiled at her gently.  
  
"Oh, oh my," she said as she looked down at his gut.  
  
"Come on, dear," said Genma as he led her towards their room.  
  
+++++++++  
  
"Fancy meeting you here, Saotome," said Soun as he walked into the  
hot springs a few hours later.  
  
"Hello, Tendo," said Carrot with a small nod.  
  
"How is your wife?" said Soun cheerfully.  
  
"Huh? Oh, fine I guess, she's over in the woman's side right now,"  
said Carrot with a small cheerful smile. "I can tell this is going to  
take some getting used to. I've always been a bit of a loner, now I've  
got to start thinking about both of us."  
  
"Huh? Oh yes, you just met your wife. It must be hard on her,"  
commented Soun with a serious nod.  
  
"Actually, she seems to be having the time of her life. I'm the  
one who's having trouble adjusting to this. It was all just so fast,  
plus, she somehow decided that I'm some kind of pervert!" Carrot hung  
his head as he said this and sighed.  
  
"That doesn't sound so bad," commented Soun with a wistful smile.  
  
"It's not, physically, I'm having the time of my life. Mentally  
I'm trying to figure out what happened to me still. Nodoka can seem so  
oblivious at times."  
  
"Well, you'll come around. You seem to be getting along well. I'm  
sure she'll make a fine wife," said Soun with a cheerful pat.  
  
Carrot looked over at him and smirked. "I'm just hoping she  
doesn't turn into her mother in law. That woman is scary."  
  
"Actually, I agree with you. My mother in law had a nodachi  
sitting across her lap throughout the whole ceremony," said Soun with  
a heavy sigh.  
  
"Nodachi?" Carrot looked over at the man in surprise. "Wow, you  
got me beat, mine just had a katana."  
  
"So, you got your wife pregnant too did you?" said Soun with a  
little understanding crossing his features.  
  
"Actually no. You were there the first time I met her two days  
ago. Remember?" said Carrot with a slightly nervous chuckle. "I think  
her mother is a bit impatient."  
  
"I guess it's just me then," muttered Soun with a sad look in his  
eyes.  
  
"Cheer up ,Tendo, I would have gotten Nodoka pregnant early given  
half the chance. I just never did get the chance," said Carrot as he  
pat the man on his back.  
  
"Thanks ,Saotome! You don't know how much that means to me!" said  
Soun with tears in his eyes  
  
"Relax ,Tendo, I'm sure we'll both be fine," lied Carrot.  
  
"Saotome..." said Soun as he suddenly became calm again.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What do you say? Would you like to...you know...?" said the man  
cheerfully.  
  
"What? Here?" said Carrot as he looked around in confusion.  
  
"Why not? We both need to blow off a little steam, and our wives  
aren't going to object at the moment," said Soun with a serious nod.  
  
Carrot blinked as he noticed that the men, who had once surrounded  
them in the water, were now all sitting comfortably on the opposite  
side of the spring. "What's with them?"  
  
"I'm not sure..." said Soun as he shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"Right, let's go then," said Carrot as he stood up and grabbed a  
towel. Soun followed him out of the springs and into the changing  
room.  
  
+++++++++++  
  
"Hiyah!" cried Carrot as he landed from a jump kick that sent Soun  
sprawling across the ground. The man sat up and smiled dumbly as he  
dusted himself off and readied himself again.  
  
"That was a good shot ,Saotome!"  
  
"Quite so ,Tendo!" agreed Carrot as he smirked and prepared to  
attack again. "Ready?"  
  
"Ready!" said Soun as he started to rush forward.  
  
"What the hell is going on here?" said an angry sounding voice  
from behind Carrot.  
  
Soun went pale and shrank back under a gaze that Carrot knew they  
were both receiving at the moment. "Uh oh..."  
  
Saotome slowly turned to see Kimiko and Nodoka standing side by  
side, glaring at the both of them. Each wife moved as if  
choreographed, rushing up to her husband's side and twisting his ear,  
dragging them both off to their respective rooms.  
  
+++++++++  
  
"Having a good time?" said Carrot with a look that told Nodoka  
that he hoped it was the right answer.  
  
"Beating up another man is fun?" snapped Nodoka angrily.  
  
"But, that's Tendo! We do this sort of thing all the time!"  
  
"You invited one of your friends to stop by for our honeymoon?"  
said Nodoka with her eyebrow twitching slightly. She seemed to be  
grabbing for something at her waist that wasn't there absently.  
  
"What? No!" cried Carrot as he pulled the futon up in front of  
himself in a vain attempt to hide from his wife. "It's just a  
coincidence! I swear!"  
  
"It had better be!" snarled Nodoka angrily as she calmed slightly.  
  
"It is! He got married the same day we did! He's here for the same  
reason as us! I didn't even know about it until we got here!"  
  
"Very well," said Nodoka, as she seemed to accept this finally.  
"Genma."  
  
"Yes dear?" said the man pathetically from behind the futon.  
  
"Leave the dogi on, we're going to play 'wandering martial artist'  
again."  
  
"Can't we just have sex? I can never get into this role playing  
stuff."  
  
"No, now try to remember your lines," said Nodoka as she unfolded  
her futon on the ground again.  
  
"Yes dear..." grumbled Carrot as he kicked at the dirt.  
  
+++++++++  
  
"So, you're still alive too?" said Soun as he took a swig of a  
large bottle of sake. He was sitting on the outside steps of the small  
hotel, drinking alone.  
  
"Yeah," said Genma as he sat down next to him, with his own bottle  
in his hand. His dogi hung from his body in tatters, but still covered  
enough of him to be decent.  
  
"Women," muttered Soun.  
  
"Yup...'Wandering martial artist, and lonely housewife'. You?"  
asked Genma lazily as he took a swig from his own bottle.  
  
"Evil shogunate warlord, and slave," muttered Soun as he picked up  
the a nearby samurai helmet off the ground.  
  
"Here's to the women," said Genma as he raised his bottle.  
  
"And their husbands," said Soun as he tapped it with his own.  
  
"Soun, come back to bed," said a feminine voice from behind the  
men. They both turned to see Kimiko standing in the door of the hotel.  
She turned to walk back, and paused, turning her head slightly. "Bring  
the helmet."  
  
"Yes dear," said Soun as he jumped to his feet and followed after  
her.  
  
"Well, I've known her for three days, and I'm as whipped as he is.  
Downright pathetic," commented Carrot as he stood up and walked back  
to his own room.  
  
++++++++++  
  
"There's someone I want you to meet. He's a great uncle of mine,"  
said Nodoka as she sat across from him in their room.  
  
"No way...it couldn't be..." muttered Carrot to himself.  
  
"He's a grandmaster of a very powerful form of martial arts, and  
his name is Happosai," continued Nodoka with a very formal look about  
her.  
  
"Uh, dear...this man...why do you want me to meet him?" said  
Carrot warily.  
  
"You wish to be a martial artist? I shall support you, he has told  
me he will take you as his student if you wish," said Nodoka calmly.  
  
Genma froze in complete terror. The tone implied that it wasn't  
really a choice, and the real Genma Saotome would have caved in an  
instant. "Honey, I appreciate that you are willing to support  
me...however..."  
  
"However?" said Nodoka with an arched eyebrow. It was obvious she  
wasn't expecting opposition from the man she had been feeding a steady  
diet of sex to over the past few days. According to her mother, that,  
and a serious and formal tone, would be enough to break him. Having a  
weapon with you would also help; perhaps that is what she was missing.  
  
"Look, I'd like to see how far I can go on my own, before I seek  
the training of a Grandmaster. A man like that wouldn't have time to  
teach me the basics really."  
  
"But, you have already have training," pointed out Nodoka.  
  
"A red belt in Tai kwon do isn't training," said Carrot in retort,  
secretly he was relieved that he'd never certified his kenpo training.  
"Look, I want to learn a real martial art, but I need a little time.  
I'll seek out the help of a grandmaster when I can't go any farther.  
With Soun's help, I should do fine."  
  
Nodoka pursed her lips and frowned. It had to be the sword; she  
needed a sword to get her way. "Very well husband, I shall send word  
that you do not feel you are ready yet."  
  
Carrot had to stop himself from sighing with relief.  
  
"Come husband, Kimiko has offered to have us with her and her  
husband for dinner," said Nodoka calmly as she stood up.  
  
"Hey, great!" said Carrot cheerfully as he stood up. Disagreeing  
with Nodoka was harder than it first appeared to be.  
  
+++++++++  
  
"I feel so fat," whispered Kimiko to her husband.  
  
Carrot froze suddenly and slowly moved a little further away from  
the table before Soun opened his mouth.  
  
"Of course dear, you're pregnant! It's only natural that you gain  
a little weight! You'll be fine!" said the boy obliviously.  
  
Nodoka noticed her husband inching away from the table, and  
clamped her hand down on his knee, preventing him from moving away any  
further.  
  
"Insensitive bastard!" cried Kimiko as she broke into tears and  
turned away from Soun.  
  
"Nonsense dear, you look fine," said Nodoka cheerfully. Using the  
same fake cheerfulness that she had fooled Carrot with when they first  
met. She turned her head towards her husband and smiled at him, while  
clawing at his leg in warning. "Right dear?"  
  
Carrot nodded vigorously. "Of course! She's absolutely beautiful!  
Look dear, doesn't she just seem to glow? Why, I'm absolutely jealous  
Tendo," He turned his head and saw Nodoka twitching, apparently he'd  
laid it on a little too thick. "I overdid it?" he asked her out loud.  
  
"Wahhhhh! A stranger thinks I'm more beautiful than my own  
husband!" cried Kimiko as she turned and started to beat Soun in the  
chest lightly as she cried.  
  
Soun was starting to cry himself. "Saotome! How could you!?"  
  
"Well, maybe she could stand to lose a few pounds," muttered  
Carrot in a desperate, and incredibly stupid attempt to make up for  
over doing it.  
  
Nodoka was starting to turn red, and Soun simply cried with his  
wife, who had stopped just long enough to look back at Carrot again.  
  
"I'll just sit here and be quiet now," said Carrot softly as he  
hung his head.  
  
+++++++++++  
  
"Well, it's the third night, and we've already been kicked out by  
our wives," commented Carrot as he sat outside and watched the snow  
fall to the ground lightly.  
  
"This is all your fault, Saotome!" grumbled Soun angrily.  
  
"It's the fault of our stupid mouths, and your wife's hormones.  
Besides, we're both out here, so you aren't suffering alone you know."  
  
"You're right, Saotome," muttered Soun dejectedly.  
  
"Well, Tendo, shall we?" said Carrot as he pointed out to the snow  
as it slowly drifted to the ground outside.  
  
"Huh? It's freezing, Saotome!"  
  
"We'll freeze to death if we just sit here, we'll do a little  
workout and then go into the springs again," said Carrot with a small  
shrug. "Come on, we want to be masters of the art someday, we gotta  
start training now."  
  
"You're right, Saotome!" agreed Soun. "For the art!"  
  
"For the art!" agreed Carrot as he stood up and walked out into  
the snow.  
  
The resulting noise woke everyone up in the middle of the night,  
and promptly got both families thrown out of the hot springs.  
  
+++++++++++  
  
Next time: Suffering for the art.  
  
This fic will be updated approximately 'whenever I feel like it'  
which should be once a month. So, unlike my others, it will not be on  
a constant writing schedule  



End file.
